I love Debbie, I did before but there’s a new level now. A more complex, diverse, intentional and dependable level of love. Peter is here. Peter is here! I could write for a thousand pages and not find a language deep enough for the expression of pride and love I have for my son and my wife. Oh how it is deep. I thank God for them. I will, for them?… anything.
Our love is complex now, not just a two way show, we have no.3 in this double act. This third member has not been invited from the outside but created inside the love.“Forged in the fires of human passion”1, “made from love”2. With this third member we are stronger but not as simple, and this is no bad thing. A simple love is easy to extinguish and complex love keeps you tangled and I’m glad our love is more complex.
Over the past 2 week I have showed Debbie, more than ever I’d say, how much I love her. Isn’t that romance, the ability to show that you love someone. Yet not one flower, present, chocolate, or meal was bought. (I would love to resurrect the word romance from the pansy, upper class French image that it places in our minds, to the ability to show one that they are loved, not just liked, not just thought pretty, but to show that they are completely, wholly adored.) The things that I have don’t for Debbie have not been day time TV, and the way that I’ve be romantic toward Debbie will continue to diversify now that we enter the fullness of the word family. Love will look different and I’m glad our love is now more diverse.
Intentional and Dependable.
Those of you who know me know that I can’t talk to long in a teaching capacity without saying the word ‘intentional’. I now love Debbie on purpose, it’s intentional and from her side it’s dependable. This is where the promise of love is worked, and realised. Debbie not only needs me but she needs me to love her, and just as much, if not more, Peter needs me to love Debbie. How else could I teach my son how to love and be a husband if not by showing him? Peter needs parents who are in love and I’m glad our love is more intentional and dependable.
Love is a want and I want to love Debbie but now there’s a more realised responsibility of love, ‘I don’t have a choice but I still choose you’3. Though there is 1000 more things I could say, I’ll just finish with my prayer/hope.
“As Peter grows up may he know and understand the Fathers love for him by the way I love him and may he know and understand Christ’s love for His church by the way I love Debbie, and my he show the world what God is like by loving others more than himself.”
I’m in love with Debbie, and the ‘in’ has been strengthened.
Ps. I would love to be able to write a blog about meeting Peter for the first time but I can’t find the words but here’s some photo’s of him and his parents! Come visit!
1 – Rich Mullins in song ‘We are not as string as we think we are’
2 – Stevie Wonder in ‘Isn’t she lovely’
3 – The Civil Wars in a complex song about tough marriage called ‘poison and wine’