Resurrecting Romance

Love isn’t something talked about too much, I mean love as that in that thing they talk about in songs and the thing that people have to work at, the thing that increases each time you take out the bin without being asked. 
I mean songs, books, movies, poems, card greetings are written about it, or maybe they just hint at it.
But in every day convo, romance, real romance is a rare topic. I guess by ‘romance’ I’m talking about the ability to show someone that they are loved.
Not the ability to string words together to get your way.  

Cause if I’m honest sometimes when Debbie’s doing a pancake making dance (it’s funny and she’ll kill me for saying that) I just think that I’d miss her even if we’d never met.  And yet the Bible doesn’t leave romance un-talked about, you just need to read a wee book between Ecclesiastes and Isaiah.  Man… it’s a book about marriage, insecurities, the vulnerableness of a close relationship, physical passion, the respect of marriage, and the gentleness of love. 
One really interesting thing is an early comment is one of insecurity, ‘She’ says ‘don’t look at me for my skin has been darken by the sun‘ and so on and it takes the man a good few chapters of complementing her beauty to get her round to the idea that she ‘looks the part’.  

you can never tell your wife enough, how awesome she looks.  

One small verse that really has been true to me and pushed me into action in my now year of being married.  Is found in Ch2v15

Catch for us the foxes,
    the little foxes
that ruin the vineyards,
    our vineyards that are in bloom.

The vineyard is a picture of 2 things in the book, The girls beauty and the relationship itself. In this context it’s a metaphor for marriage. Watch for those little foxes, that just ruin the day, ruin the car journey, ruin a ‘night in’, spoil your ministry.  The little things that annoy eachother. 
We’re not talking about huge elephants that tramp on a marriage like being abusive or an affair. 
This is the little things that just spoil the time that is meant to be ‘love’.  Things like, ignoring each-other when in public, always being late, not taking the bin out until asked 3 times, the washing lying in the basket for a month, money being spent on something deemed unapprobate.  Or we could equally say, that the little foxes are, being uptight, unnecessarily annoyed and aggravated that: she’s making you late, he’s not taking out the bin, the washing is lying for weeks. 
There is a casualness and an accepting spirit needed to be married to someone and keep love alive.  I used to say  that’s not the way I’d do it, if living on my own. I needed to wake up.  I’m not living on my own. I’ve got a family.

There is a need and skill to notice the little foxes and there’s a sacrificial spirit needed catch them!  And there is a big need to encourage in your wife/husband in what they are good at, in what their gifts are in.  To build them up so you can love them more. 

Stop the little foxes. Tell your wife she’s beautiful.

Hope this came across ok, I felt the timing was right with my sister getting married at weekend and our 1 year anniversary yesterday.

Standing on Grace.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Ricky Ferguson on September 11, 2012 at 3:10 pm

    Thank you for the challenge for this blog. I hope I can look out for the ‘little foxes’ in Marlene and my relationship as we get married! Can you maybe re-publish this again in a years time?! R

    Reply

  2. that’s really lovely x

    Reply

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